Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Day Twenty Three: If You Don't Know How...

One of the road blocks to turning dreams into reality is the inability to do some necessary step along the way. Do not let this prevent you from trying. If you don’t know how to do one of the steps, you can always add some steps in your process to learning. There are so many education resources now available on the internet. You are never too old to go back to school or to learn some new skill set. 

Here are a few on-line education resources that may be worth checking out:

I am sure there are more available out there, but these are three sites that I really liked. Do not let learning be a hurdle to reaching your goals and plans; allow it to be part of the process. If you don’t know how to do something you can always stop and take the time to learn. You may find that the learning process turns out to be more rewarding than achieving the goal itself.

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Day Twenty-Two: Accountability Buddy

The only way I have been able to keep going during these last few weeks of “Dream. Plan. Do.” is because of my accountability buddies. If you don’t have an accountability buddy, you should definitely get one. They provide motivation, fresh outside perspectives on a problem, a different set of problem solving skills, and the occasional kick in the pants.

I have a regular phone appointment with one of my friends. Each of us takes approximately half hour to go over our major goal areas and ways we can tackle reaching our goals during the week. She lives in a different time zone which makes arranging the call a little difficult, but it is important to us so we make time for the call. We both have our schedules and notebooks handy when we chat and we help each other plot out all our goals for the month, week, and day by day. If there is a super pressing stressor, then we can spend the majority or all of the call on tackling that issue.

The dynamic between my friend and I works well because she is a different personality type. We have also achieved goals that the other is now working to achieve. I’ve already been through graduate school and she is in the process of picking one. She has reached her goal weight and is maintaining it; whereas, I am currently working on those goals. She also has known me long enough to be able to call me on crap when I am being too hard on myself or not pressing in hard enough.

Aside from all that I gain from our phone calls, I am able to step out of myself and help encourage my friend. Sometimes when I am in the midst of a problem I have trouble seeing outside of myself and the problem; the phone call helps me look outside of myself and my problems. If you don’t have an accountability buddy, I would encourage you to get one. I have some very dear friends and my sweet husband who provide this much needed support for me. Ask someone who is where you want to be or has made mistakes you are afraid to make.  Don’t worry about being vulnerable and burdening anyone—the goal is to share as much as you listen. Sometimes the phone call will be 10 minutes on you and 50 minutes on them or vice versa. 

You might be surprised by who would be willing to stand with you if you would step out and ask.

To Read 31 Days of "Dream. Plan. Do" from the beginning please click here.

Monday, October 21, 2013

Day 19, 20, and 21: Starting Fresh Again and Again and Again...

I almost stopped writing this blog. I was two seconds away from deleting the whole thing and acting like the last eighteen days of writing never happened, but thank God I have accountability buddies who wouldn’t let me give up. Why did I want to give up? No reason in particular other than I am discouraged about a lot of different life issues. I spoke to some wiser peeps and they all laughed and basically chalked up my current state of affairs to being twenty-something. 

So here I am. Posting again and encouraging you all out there in bloggy-land to start fresh again today. Start fresh again tomorrow. Start fresh again and again and again so that it becomes so second nature that there is not even a question as to whether you will ever try again, but more of an issue as to how you are going to do it differently the next time.

How am I going to do “it” differently? I commit to the following, for my own sake:
I am going to start reaching out for help.
I am going to be kinder to myself when there are minor bumps along the way.
I am not going to let my own anger and frustrations with me get in the way of my relationships with others.
Will I do these perfectly? No! But I commit to starting fresh with these again and again and again and again…

Friday, October 18, 2013

Day Eighteen: Motivation Check No. 5 Selfishness

I firmly believe that you cannot fully love and care for others if you are unhealthy physically, mentally, or spiritually. However, when the world starts to revolve around you, your needs, your goals, and your dreams to the detriment of others then perhaps it is time for a motivation check.

What do I mean by detriment of others? You are neglecting those people or things God has already entrusted into your care, i.e. your spouse, your children, your work/colleagues, your extended family. If your family has heard you tell them “in a minute” twenty times in the last week, you may be facing a mere prioritizing problem that requires some schedule tweaking. When this becomes your constant refrain, you may want to reflect on the following:

1. Check why you are acting in the first place?
2. Are you attempting to escape responsibilities and obligations you have already committed to?
3. Are you trying to please Group A to the neglect of Group B?
4. Have you taken on too much?
5. Are you always chasing some new and exciting venture and have 10 or 15 unfinished “things” that you have no intention of going back to?
6. Does every new venture result in a cycle of over committing, exhaustion, over committing, and exhaustion with others having to pick up the slack while you go and find yourself?

Perhaps it is because I am a millennial but I know dozens that have issues #5 and 6; those issues seem to be a recurring theme of my generation. Sometimes this is innate and your friends and family have enabled you to behave this way for years. They go chasing after you while you are on some new solo adventure. If you are truly single and owe nobody anywhere anything, then adventure on, but I seriously doubt that most of us could truly say that.

 Now let me be very clear, I am not advocating that you give up on your dreams and goals to your own detriment. We are not called to be slaves but servants; we are not called to wipe everybody’s booties or boots; however, there are people and things God entrusted into our care. When our imaginations are so enthralled at the thought of our own successes that we neglect the people and things in our care, we need some course correction. 

That is truly the purpose of the last five days of motivation checkscourse correcting. Don’t beat yourself up. We all have selfish tendencies in one way or another. Yours may need some tweaking or a major overhaul. Check your heart and ask God for help.

 To Read the 31 Day Series "Dream. Plan. Do." from the beginning please click here.